Rock-Paper-Scissors

I just had to start our blog with a humorous story. In the midst of everything going on we all need a little laugh now and then…

Most of our friends had young children before us. So we were well equipped with countless stories from getting peed on to diaper explosions. So when it was our turn to have Jacob, everyone warned us that our adult conversations will change to baby jargon. And sure enough it did. One night, Ryan and I sat on the couch watching TV or actually zoning mindlessly. Jacob was playing quietly on his tummy time mat and we were enjoying every minute of being able to just sit on the couch together at the same time. As I sat there my mind rambled on about when Jacob would need to eat again, and when his last diaper had been changed; the typical thoughts of a new Mommy. Then it dawned on me that he still hadn’t had a bowl movement and we were nearing one week. Of course I immediately began to worry.

“Ryan,” I said, breaking the silence. “Jacob still hasn’t pooped! I think it’s been almost a week now.”

Ryan busted out his iPhone and began googling what was considered normal.

“Do you remember the last poopy diaper you changed?” I desperately asked, hoping it had been on his watch and I could let my mind rest.

“Hmm, it’s been awhile,” he replied as he continued to search for an answer.

This wasn’t the answer I was hoping for, and I wanted specifics. I know it had been about 5-6 days since I had last seen a bowl movement.

“Do you think I should make a doctor appointment or wait a few more days?”

“I don’t know…it says here on this website that babies can go a long time without pooping.”

I pulled out my phone too and began searching for answers, because I had to see if for myself. That’s when it happened. Jacob had been way too quiet for too long and before we knew it the smell drifted through the air.

“Do you smell that?” I asked, sniffing the air.

Ryan walked over to Jacob, and his nose crinkled immediately. “We have a pooper,” he exclaimed. Little did we know how much a tiny baby could poop! Ryan took one look at his diaper and shouted, “I will play you rock-paper-scissors for who changes this diaper!”

“Your on!”

So with our fists in hand we chanted, “Rock-paper-scissors.” Ryan had no clue that every Kindergarten teacher has mastered the art of winning Rock-paper-scissors. To Ryan’s dismay he carefully picked up Jacob, holding his breath, as he carried him to the diaper changing table. The last thing I heard was a little gagging followed by “Oh my God!”